My Story:

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been creating art. In fact, for a while, it’s one of the few things I thought I was any good at, largely because of my struggles with ADHD.

That foundation started to crack when I started learning how to paint in college in 2010. It was exceptionally difficult, and I was not equipped with the emotional/mental health strategies to manage the despair, frustration, and other destructive emotions. Many of these feelings and experiences were internalized without me being aware of it. But I tried to keep moving along because I didn’t feel like I could give it up either.

I had some successes and shows I was blessed to be a part of, and I’ve had some amazing spiritual experiences with pieces that helped keep me going. I even received a generous grant. But as time went on, I wasn’t completing the work I’d set out to do, not realizing that my mental challenges were at the heart of it all. The most frustrating part? The harder I tried, the worse it got. (Thanks, ADHD.) The pressure was building and I was getting less and less done as a result.

Until one day, that foundation completely broke.

I was heavily invested in a show I’d applied for and was rejected. Rejection happens a lot as an artist, but I found out just after having finished a very taxing and extensive photoshoot. This must have been the perfect storm. With that rejection, I realized that despite my mental efforts, I simply didn’t have the portfolio to be part of some of these bigger opportunities. Many of my life experiences started to be reframed with this new perspective, and it was excruciating. This reframing process was extensive and lasted at least a few weeks.

How could something I relied on my entire life become so difficult and painful?

That realization led me to therapy and internal work that has been making a difference and has started to bring changes I’ve been praying for.

Through it all, Jesus Christ has been the Master Healer helping me navigate recovery and building better habits to take care of my mental and emotional health. I’m still picking up the pieces and I’m not always sure what these pieces and lessons mean, but I trust that God has a purpose for it all, and learning brings me light and hope. He leads me to profound joys and relief. I simply would not be here or be able to function without His guiding influence in my life, trusting that there is a purpose for the challenges I face.

I don’t claim to understand everyone’s experiences, but I can relate to those experiencing excruciating anguish, mental chaos, despair, shame, impatience, inadequacy, darkness, anger, panic, and desperation. To feel like you have no control of your life. I know what it feels like when everything you’ve known and held onto seems to come crashing down or is questioned. To feel stuck or like a complete failure. To feel like you are alone and drowning, and yet still try to keep living life and moving forward.

And I want to help. I want to simply pass along insights or other pieces of light I've found helpful that may also be helpful to someone else. If I can help you feel less alone, help you feel seen, or help lighten your load in some small way, that is what brings me happiness.